you've gotta be kidding!

wokays! im back! last week of practicum was CRAZY! rushing out all the reflections and lesson plans etc. mad mad mad. but its over!!! woohoo! :D so. now its time to talk about the last week or so and all the various screw ups. i must say i totally cracked up over the SAA article that said that my coach only wants to break records by the minutest of seconds. hence my statement on Facebook:

"Chan pew only wants to break records by the minutest of seconds..." - SAA President Loh Lin Kok. SOMEBODY GET THE PRESIDENT A RECOURSE! please enlighten me, WHO BREAKS SPRINTS RECORDS BY SECONDS ANYWAY?! so hmm usain bolt is supposed to run from 9.77 to 8.77s to be considered a decent record breaker? nice. :D

haha i just had to take a dig at it. i mean, seriously? that is the most stupidest statement i have heard. sigh another sign of regression. ")

ok moving on. went to muar on Friday for a competition and we left at 730pm for msia. Surprisingly, everything was smooth at both checkpoints until an accident occurred on the highway in msia and the jam started. i slept at 930pm when we entered the jam and woke up at 1130pm just as we exited the jam! and then we got lost!!!! made 2 u turns and finally arrived at our hotel (or whatever resembled the likes of it) at 130 AM!!! my race? 10AM. so up i was at 7AM and off to the track for warm ups and the race. my gosh, this had to be my worst pre comp preparation ever, and although i didnt run that well, i think for the conditions i competed in, i am quite satisfied with everything. worst of all, the haze was so bad i could smell the burnt smell in the air and the field had smoke just above its surface!

and then i went for NDP! poor kev went with his crutches cos he didnt want to disappoint the girls. sweet... :D it was a really good show so till the next post when i finally upload the pics!

teacher thoughts

Im finally coming to the end of practicum (yes im still not there yet cos i had to repay the leave i took to take part in Taiwan open. 1 extra week when technically, im serving the nation?!!! ironic.) so anyway it has been rather reflective for me. frankly, im appalled at what some of the kids think nowadays. had a conversation with a kid and he said that he doesnt greet teachers. teachers are just there to teach, we shouldnt care if the kid listens or not. what disturbed me most after the incident was that kids nowadays seem to think they are pride and joy of the world when i can honestly tell you, if i had a kid like that i'd tell him straight that he is the bane of the world. it is really disturbing that they take everything for granted and forget that they are prolly the world's biggest pain in the ass. i mean there are kids that are wonderful. mind you i have encountered some pretty angelic ones that truly seem to be God's gift to the world.

at the end of the day, i think as teachers we have to remind these kids that it is not our privilege having them in the school. rather, it is their privilege of having a school to be in. they need to learn that this is the system, deal with it. if majority of the kids can, then obviously the problem is with them. im not talking about different learning abilities here because yes i do believe that schools should try to cater to all abilities, and im not talking about rigid systems that demand a certain achievement level etc. i enjoy teaching kids especially those with lower learning abilities because the satisfaction you get from seeing them just respond, is immense. im talking instead about kids who just dont want to learn, and expect the system to push them along because they have had their way all along. yes it is so easy to just teach and not care. but as a teacher u ask yourself, is that my role? if i took that stand, i'd rather not teach. because frankly, it would be terribly unfulfilling.

at the end of the day, if i had a kid that behaved like that, i'd most prolly tell him a few things.

1. this is the system, learn to work in it now before you suffer in the working world.

2. play now for 20 years, but just be prepared to suffer for the next 50.

3. i can only show you your options and the consequence. i cant make YOUR choice.

4. if you cant live with this system, please leave the school and find somewhere that will cater to your whim and fancy. because mainstream schools teach you to grow up.

and lastly, for myself, there goes my Principal promotion offers. hahaha :D

major rampage

ok i am riled up and ready to go.
after reading a blog post on singapore sports fan, i am even more compelled to write my blog. so for now. aside goes my marking.

ok firstly, let me make this clear. i would never have agreed to give a quote for an issue that has long been talked about had i known that it would subject my sacrifices for the sport, nation and my own passion, to ridicule. to allow someone to say that all i have worked for and done was not for the nation would be the biggest blasphemy i am subjecting myself to. and to not speak up against such a claim would be the biggest injustice i would be doing to myself, all who have supported me one way or another and to my coach who has had to endure countless DEFAMATION and slander.

the reason i do not go for training is because they simply have no respect for us athletes and coaches whom they seem to treat as pawns. i mean they do realise right that if there were no athletes and coaches THERE WOULD BE NO ASSOCIATION. at a meeting with mr tang, where my mum was present, it was agreed that there would be a meet up with all the athletes, personal coaches and parents regarding the changes, explanations and training plans. UP UNTIL THE FREAKING ARTICLE THERE HAS BEEN NO MEETING!!!!! so where is the respect for us when you remove our coach, impose on us plans that we have not been consulted on and insulting us by saying that we are not doing enough for the nation.

may i remind you, WE wrote the appeal letter for SEA Games, where WE RAN and broke the NATIONAL record for SINGAPORE. may i remind you that while i stayed in that stink hole of a hotel in Jordan while representing SINGAPORE at the Asian Track and Field Championships 2007, eating salty rice and fried chicken for lunch and dinner 7 days in a row, bathing in toilets that flooded 24/7 and had no hot water and squeezing into rooms meant for 3 but slept 5, our dear team manager and chairman stayed at some 5 star hotel (i think it was ritz). may i remind you that part of your title "Team manager" includes the word "TEAM" so shouldnt you be staying at the TEAM hotel? since you are so big on committing yourself to singapore then shouldnt you commit yourself to TEAM singapore?

so really, DONT you dare accuse me of not doing anything for the nation when really, all you have done is screwed up financial budgets, block meets and create extra challenges for us. i now understand why we do not have psychologists because with people like you around, it is enough to provide us with mental challenges that seem to stumble us much more EVEN BEFORE OUR COMPETITIONS. you think its so easy to train 6 times a week when we've got work in the morning and other commitments? you think its so easy to see your good friends go out while we commit ourselves to our sport by staying in to rest for training and competitions. you think its fun coming home late to only be able to join your family for dinner half way? you think its damn bloody fun having to worry about how to get the money to buy the next pair of spikes or track shoes or fund a competition or overseas meet? you think its not freaking tiring being in a sport for 12 years and seeing no progression but instead regression for the welfare of the athletes? you think its damn easy to come back from a torn arch, liver virus, hamstring tear and near bone fracture? WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT COMMITMENT?!

so really, dont come acting so magnanimous with such statements about committing to the nation and not to anyone else. please remember that i am not the one suing national athletes who have all but done all they can for the nation as competitors. i am not the one sacking coaches who have helped break NATIONAL records and keeping those who have national PAPERS. MOST IMPORTANTLY, i am not the one in charge of a NATIONAL association but still not making way for new blood, change and hopefully progression despite having been in the doldrums for years. talk about doing it for yourself. tsk tsk. cos really 20 over years is a long time my friend. and 20 years of stagnation should be called a national catastrophe. that sure is some national commitment eh? so yes, before you tell that to me, tell that to your boss. :D

holiday excitements!

had my first and only (sigh... ) long weekend of practicum BUT it was happening man!!! haha before i start though, let me introduce CLOO! kev's and my baby british bulldog! i know i know, my reaction when kev wanted it was OF ALL CUTE NICE LOOKING DOGS, YOU WANT A BULLDOG???!!!! haha but i have since changed my perception. really, bulldogs are one of the most gentle, manja, loving, cuddly and friendly dogs around. Cloo doesnt bark (except when he's being a coward and sees his reflection or hears a loud sound...haha), is totally non aggressive (he'd even let a dog bite him while he protects chip) and loves to sleep AND SNORE! so anyway, introducing cloo at 4 mths!

ok. so now that he has grown up, hes 7 mths now... hormones have started to rage, :D and kev refuses to snip. haha so. this is cloo before we bought him a pillow to replace his ikea bed we threw away after he had to much action with it haha. he looks so sad right?

and this is cloo after we gave him a pillow!!!!! he went on and on and on for hours!!!!! only food could distract him!!!
doesnt he look happy????!!!! :Dand extremely satisfied??? :D

so there... introducing CLOO!

ok next up, saturday was evon's wedding!!! Sclub made up her band of 'jie meis' as we tortured poor danny and his brothers... fancy eating lemon and skin whole! or that disgusting small bittergourd thingy... gross. haha and of cos what is Sclub without the usual goofiness of resident clowns sheryl and michelle? haha while sheryl was holding evon's wedding umbrella, she opened it!!!!! and then while we were getting ready forthe dinner, sheryl could not believe that the wedding cake was fake and promptly went up to CUT THE CAKE!!! hahaha and then there was michelle. who was so emersed in her teacher role that she went up on stage to give the commands for assembly, with the whole foot stamping and arms by the side and all!!! haha hilarious! and the night ended wonderfully with kev accompanying me at the table as we celebrated the union of Evon and Danny. Congrats you two!!! Wishing you a blissful and blessed marriage ahead! :D

hold it! :D

ok here's another post because i have so much time. haha just little excerpt of cayla's quirks again.

cayla: i need to go to the toilet!!!!
(so we rush her to the toilet)
claire: (SCREAMING) CAYLA!! Take off your panties!!!
cayla (who already ran to the toilet and is sitting on the toilet bowl): i cant!!!!
claire: manda che che!!! cayla doesnt want to take off her undies!!!
me: cayla???!!!!
claire: she says she will not be able to hold her pee if she takes it off.
me: THEN HOW ARE YOU GOING TO PEE WITH IT ON ANYWAY?!!! hhahahaha
cayla: hmf!!!

it was absolutely hilarious as my aunty later shared that cayla and claire can have a very long war of words while cayla is sitting on the toilet bowl, in a desperate need to pee but cannot take off her undies. our solution? we repeatedly tell her "hold. cayla! hold. hold. ok pee.... NOW!) :D

B.O.R.E.D

boredom has just hit a new level. I AM SO BORED!!!!! I am so bored here's a list of things i can do.

1. have a conversation on facebook WALL. yah where immediate response does not normally take place.
2. find as many shoes as i want to buy from online and still have 3 hours to the end of school.
3. check online straits times every minute that it is updated.
4. have many many meals (i wish) if not for the canteen food being so bad that they open canned sardines to sell cos they dont have enough food for teachers.
5. update all softwares on my computer.
6. book physios and massage appointments.
7. reply every email sent within 5 minutes.
8. it is Day 2 and im already singing "somebody kill me, anybody kill me"
9. runaway to home that is 5 minutes away, sleep and come back and still have many hours till the bell rings.
10. blog nonsense because THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO!

little miss forgetful

had a recent conversation with cayla over the phone where i gave her a message to pass to her mum. THANK GOD i remembered that cayla's memory is that of a goldfish where she practically DOES NOT remember. hahaha

here goes:
Me: Cayla, when you guys are ready can you call and then I will drive over and pick you up?
Cayla: Ok.
Me: Ok remember k. Can you tell your mummy what i said?
Cayla: Ok! Bye! (Enthusiastically!)
Me: WAIT! Ok what did i say?
Cayla: Erm... What? (INNOCENTLY!)
Me: Cayla! Tell your mummy what i said. When you guys are ready can you call and then I will drive over and pick you up.
Cayla: Ok. BYE! (ENTHUSIASTICALLY!)
Me:CAYLA!!!!! CAYLA!!!! COME BACK HERE!!
Cayla: What? (innocently! ARGH!)
Me: TELL MUMMY NOW! Let me hear you say it.
Cayla: Ok. What?
Me: *IN UTTER EXASPERATION.* Repeat after me now...
Cayla: *repeats and then emphatically says - BYE!

seriously, if she didnt sound so innocent and cute I'd have banged my head into the wall and proceed to strangle her. haha but it was so hilarious i went into a laughing fit! and of cos when you see her, you just want to laugh and cuddle and hold her soooo close to your heart. THIS is cayla... little miss forgetful. :D

taught her this when she was really young... TUMMY IN!

TUMMY OUT! haha watch her do it repeatedly and you'll go into a laughing fit!and when she isnt clowning around, thats my little miss beautiful. :)

second best?

sometimes i really wonder if people do realise what they are saying, especially when they are holding influential and public positions. sometimes i wonder if people who make speeches actually write their own speech and if they didnt, do they even check on the background? tsk tsk. who am i referring to? our very own Deputy Prime Minister Teo Chee Hean who was quoted in the papers as saying "But sports is like that. At the end, there's one loser and one winner. One will get selected, one will not.", in reference to the the newest (and weekly :)) saga that SAA has gotten into -The selection of an athlete for AYG based on heats timing even though that athlete has lost in 2 most recent races (including the finals) against the other athlete up for nomination.

ok here's my take on it. as always, i always must have a say. haha i think it is ridiculous and even comical that the head of the SNOC can even say something like that. being the head of sports in Singapore, one would expect a more in depth analysis and explanation of the whole situation. to put it simply, "If winning a race still makes you a loser, WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING FINALS?!!" so, if going by the same logic that our DPM seems to subscribe to, if i clock a Gold Medal timing at the heats of say, Sea Games, am i entitled to the $10,000? i mean after all, my timing beats the gold medal winner regardless of the final right? so technically, i'm still the winner? and of cos, we disregard the fact that the wind speed was different, the weather conditions were different, the opponents in the heats were different (less push maybe?), the athlete's ability to deal with stronger opponents varies according to the opponents... hmm. you know, going by the inefficiency and really utter hopelessness of the association, i dont expect any sense (and cents :)) from them. BUT! you are SNOC!!! OLYMPIC council!!!! if you cannot even apply the correct analysis techniques to determine the better athlete, i say go back to being an Amatuer Council! yes timing is important, but then you look at the overall average timing, you look at the difference in timing, and you would find that the athlete not picked has clocked a better average timing (51.49 vs 51.57) over the last 3 races as compared to the one picked. now tell me. DO I NEED TO TEACH YOU THAT?! sigh, no wonder the state of sports in Singapore and really. SO MUCH FOR TRANSPARENCY!!!

finding closure

ok kev's going to totally agree that i ask alot of questions but somehow my mind likes to wonder and wander for that matter :) its been a while now (prolly since my uncle passed away) that i started thinking about what i would want to ask God when i get to heaven. of cos in the last 3 years alot of questions came up and i forgot most of them but here's an example, ive always wondered how the 5 loaves and 2 fish multiplied. like you know did the disciples see it replenish or they just kept taking without looking. ok stuff like that. haha i know i know like of all things to think about. but really its quite interesting!

so anyway, heard of someone's passing recently and thought back to my uncle and what i would ask when i get there. i guess i never really found closure for i could never really understand why, if given a choice someone would leave family behind. i was angry really until yesterday when my mum made us say the rosary and i listened to the reflections (im usually stoning lah but for some reason despite the HORRENDOUS heat, i was actually listening.) somehow it was like a revelation to my questions, doubts and anger. i always wondered about the day my uncle passed away. did he know we were outside? did he see our pain? did he choose to go? how could God take him away when my cousins were so young? was he there comforting us? all these questions never quite gave me closure and perhaps prevented it. you really cannot fully grasp the meaning of certain occurances in life and this was certainly one that i was struggling with.

we were saying the Glorious Mysteries guided by a prayer book and in the 2nd mystery, the bible passage used for reflection was Luke 24: 50-52, "After His ressurection, Jesus remained forty days with His Bl. Mother and the apostles and instructed them in His ways. Having completed the work of redemption entrusted to Him by the Father He ascends into heaven as the disciples look on." and then came the reflection points that triggered the revelation i had as i reflected. "He tells us that our true home is in heaven and one day we too will be taken body and soul into that home... Do i keep in mind that my life will not end with this world and that i am a traveller to heaven my true home?"

"Do i keep in mind that my life will not end with this world and that i am a traveller to heaven my true home?" This particular sentence struck me as i finally had answers to my questions. Life in this world and that of eternal life no longer seemed separated. Instead, life in this world was but a journey towards our final destination. and perhaps with that same reasoning, why would someone choose to return or backtrack the journey if they had already been given entry or had already reached their destination? it provided me closure because i no longer resented the fact that God took my uncle away or that my uncle chose to go. it allowed me to see that as Christians, our final home, destination should be heaven and life on earth is simply a journey. therefore, choosing to stay on this earth instead of dying and moving into the next life would only be a backtrack of a journey that is supposed to lead us to our endpoint. yes it still isnt easy to deal with the loss but when you can finally make sense of a part of the occurance, when you can finally answer some questions, i think i can finally find closure.

a massive tirade!

back!!! and bloody pissed!!!!! two things, all assholes. that pretty much sums it up. first things first, gotta have my say on the recent SAA and Pahang issue since i was quoted but not completely. just to set things straight so that people who think that the athletes are wrong to have gone ahead know where im coming from. really, i dont give a shit whether SAA was invited or we didnt go through SAA for approval. the thing is, it is on my training plan. SO. ARE YOU BLIND?!!!!! well apparently not. because here is why i think they are the most sneaky, dishonest and really just dumb snakeheads. somebody. ANYBODY. PLEASE OVERTHROW THEM!!! yup its like a monarchy up there. :)

ok according to the article, SAA was quoted as saying Pahang did not invite them and under international ruling, the NSA must be given an official invite before its athletes are allowed to participate. the thing is, these are immaterial to me because-

1. you are the association and you have our training plans. therefore you should know beforehand which meets we are going for, and ensure we have the necessary invites.

2. SAA should know all the upcoming competitions because they have the calendar of events. if the affiliates know but the association doesnt, hmm that speaks inefficiency for itself right?

3. an official emailed me asking if i needed help with my NIE leave application for the pahang trip. doesnt this show that SAA knows i am going to pahang? then why did they not tell me that Pahang has yet to invite them?

4. when i emailed back to say i would be going under NTU, they disregarded my email and thereafter made no more correspondence over the pahang open. the reply came regarding another issue and this reply was made after i heard that we were stopped by them from participating.

5. if they knew i was going under NTU, why did they not tell me that they also need an official request from NTU and why did they not tell me that they had stopped us from going to the meet since they did so before their last reply to me?

really, whether they have an invite or not is immaterial to me because they obviously intentionally did not tell me directly that we are not allowed to participate. afterall, if they could send me an email asking if i needed help in leave application, one would assume that the go-ahead was already given. think about it, why would SAA offer to apply leave for me if they know that Pahang hasnt invited them and therefore we cannot go? would i still need leave IF I CANT GO?!!!!! are you just upset that we have found our own sponsors because we refuse to be a part of the co-op scheme that requires us to pay for our competitions even if we break national records? so yes, go ahead and lie your way through, saying that you didnt get invites and we didnt ask for your blessings. lucky for you, the press has to be impartial in their writing and didnt expose this correspondence. but just remember. watch your backs. the past always comes back to haunt you when you lie your way through. tsk tsk. :)

next issue. ok im really lazy to type so here's my facebook post - Amanda Choo is extremely pissed off at the stupid NISSAN who doesnt know that in a merging lane, YOU BLOODY GIVE WAY TO THE RIGHT! (ESPECIALLY IF THE CAR IS IN FRONT!!!!!) DUH-UH?!!!! still dare to jam break, stare, throw a petty fit and take down my number!

the one thing i regret though is not going down to speak to the guy myself and scream that in his face but kev shooed me away so yah. haha oh well peace peace peace.... :) but wait. let me say a few words first. i was turning from shenton way and was on the right most lane. however, it merges with the left lane (WHY ON EARTH IS THE FASTEST LANE A MERGING LANE ANYWAY???!!!) and so this nissan came up on my left and started to try to speed up. but for some stupid reason or other (which seems to corresponds with his behaviour anyway... :)), he decides to stay next to me and i needed to turn right! so i slowed down and he went past and stared and used his hand to do something. word of advice? DO NOT STARE WHEN BOTH OF US ARE IN THE CAR! :) and then i went behind him and he jammed break!!! SERIOUSLY?! so i horned till the cows came home, hehehe, drove past and told him off. and he tailed me all the way to our destination, took down my number and threatened us! argh!!!

so. here's a few pointers you irritating nissan driver.

when you are on the left, you give way to right!

when its a merging lane, it really means the lane is going to merge!

so if the car is on your right and in front of you, YOU GIVE WAY!

when you made a mistake, keep your eyes to yourself!

if you cant even follow traffic rules, keep BOTH HANDS ON THE STEERING WHEEL!

when you want to jam break, go fix your breaklights or that could land you in trouble!

when you want to jam break with NO CAR IN FRONT OF YOU, be prepared to get horned!

when you do something stupid like that, be prepared to get told off!

when in the car, i really cant shout at you so only hand signs work (and the horn)!

and lastly, take my number for all i care. but oh, dont bother buying 4D, it hasnt come out in months... ")

spot the resemblence!

HOW CUTE IS THIS!!!!!! hahaha yup thats cayla at 6 (ok she's really a nagger so if she can read this she'll prolly remind me till i change it, that she's 5 PLUSSSSSSS) hahahaha and thats cayla at 1? seeing this photo really cracks me up man! anyway, i've got an iphone now... YES MY FIRST OFFICIAL ANNOUNCEMENT :) and i totally understand why the girls have been so addicted to it. haha been playing this game called Sextuple (no no no nothing sexual there you pervs... haha) its just that from a 6 letter word you have to find as many 3-6 letter words as possible. so anyway its really good cos you wreck your brains to find the words and its actually improving my vocab! of cos sometimes it makes me proud to be an english teacher and at other times i feel like denying it cos sometimes im just blind to seeing the damn word! :) so with my iphone now, it spells the end of iphone wars since they can use mine and his! finally some peace!!!!! hahaha

the epitomy of will power, the epitomy of coach.

ok ok i know i havent blogged in AGES!!!! haha "so much to say so much to do..." :) ok in a crazy mood now but have decided to sit down and blog cos its not too warm now and i have a fan blowing at me. you see, I.HATE.HEAT. and our living room fan short circuited a month or so back, hence i could never sit at my comp long enough to blog. but today i have lugged out the fan from my mum's room (because im too lazy to carry the lappy into my bedroom :D) and hence my first post in a while. ok now back to the post.

so first up, what else but my coach! haha went to train on Good Friday at 330pm and it was POURING. i swear i could imagine the headlines on saturday saying 'Singapore registered the highest rainfall yesterday...' so anyway. i still made my way down because i was pretty sure the rain would stop. and IT DID! not because it was raining for damn long but because my coach, mr loh, seriously controls the weather. hahaha ask siaomei, she'll say the same thing. when it rains and the sch kids are like "yes!!!! its raining!!!!" both of us have the same reaction... "aiya, when mr loh comes, the rain will stop" seriously, in the 7 years ive been training with him, i think rain has only cancelled training less than 5 times.

so i took half an hour to get from opposite tampines mall to tampines mall. this brings me to - STUPID SBS BUSES WHO THINK THEY OWN THE ROAD AND INCLUDE YELLOW BOX PLEASE!!! yah those idiots (ARGHHHHH! please understand i have symptoms of roadrage after 1 month of lenten sacrifice to not horn, curse or flash lights :D) insist on turning even when the light turns red and because the drivers seemingly forget that the ass of the bus is OBVIOUSLY MUUUUUUCCCCCCHHHHH bigger and longer than their own, once they (as in just the driver seat) has crossed the line, they think the whole bus has. omg. LTA KEEP UP THE FINES!!!! :) evil evil...

so anyway, siaomei and i finally reached stadium at 4pm and would you believe it the downpour was only a drizzle!!!! and when mr loh walked in at 430, the rain stopped!!! BUT thats only part 1. becos, now on top of the TOP COACH award which he so deserves for his coaching abilities, here's another reason why he is SUCH a motivation. Mr Loh, is truly what i call "the epitomy of 'When there's a will, there's a way" hahaha the ACS boys were rejoicing that they stadium was booked from 5pm to 10pm for preparation of an event. as usual, siaomei and i, already privy to mr loh's exceptional will power, told them that mr loh will find a way. and he did. he said "preparation only, still can use. anyway ah, the workers all know me (from his previous job)." and so there was training. it happened once before also during an MOE Staff event. He knew the zone suprintendent and managed to get us into the stadium to train at the long jump pit side of the track. so you see, my coach - the epitomy of will power. :) (ok tell him this and he will tell you his usual story on how he trained even after being shot in the hamstring... i have heard it 10 times haha)

so, here are some pics i took of him at a park. with his will power, if he wanted a "Coach Lot' im pretty sure he can get it. hahaha ooooohhhhh.... with such a strong power, someone's gotta watch his back! haha no prize for guessing who! asshole. :)

so anyway, with all the recent happenings about my coach, i was tasked to write an article on my opinion about my coach for the NTU newsletter.

here's the link!http://www3.ntu.edu.sg/chronicle/sports/vol15no10/p4.html

but. that is the watered down version. hahahaha so. here's the original.

"With the recent debacle over the sacking of my coach Mr Loh Chan Pew, little has been said by and about the team regarding all he has done for us.

As it stands, there is currently no women’s relay team training together despite SEA Games being a mere 9 months away. Yet, the relays are the only events in athletics that require team work because of the baton passing which is key to shaving off at least 2s from the athletes’ combined timings. This skill is not one that is acquired through individual training but is honed through practicing and running with each other. From the accuracy of the take off, to the passing of the baton, these are specific factors that each athlete must know about the other before executing a perfect pass; and it is this chemistry and familiarity that the record breaking team had, that led to their success.

This begets the question then, why was Mr Loh sacked despite all he had achieved? Bringing a team together, fostering a bond, breaking a junior record and finally the national record that had stood for more than 10 years. It is this same question that I am unable to accept the change and that I question, because of all that he has done, most of which has not been highlighted to many, but is fundamental in our support for him.

So what has he done and why is the best to us?
For one, the revival of the national women relay squad is solely because of Mr Loh’s foresight, effort and patience.
Foresight for starting a team whose average age was 16, seeing the potential in them to better their timings individually and as a team over the next few years of training. Effort in building up this team, taking it upon himself to persuade them to come together and train in a concerted effort to qualify for Sea Games and break the national record. Patience as he trained, encouraged and waited over 4 years and 2 Sea Games before the team finally achieved their aims.

Tell me then, on what grounds is his sacking justifiable if the team’s existence and success is attributed to him? Does it make any sense to take away someone’s creation that has been producing positive results and passing it on to others who have had no experience with it?

His experience, knowledge and network have also aided in the team’s progression, all of which should have come from those with higher qualifications in terms of certificates and courses. He had pushed for the junior team to take part in the Taiwan Open in 2005, having discussed and enquired from his Taiwan counterparts on the standard and participatory rate for that meet. Although the SAA was initially reluctant to allow the team to participate, Mr Loh pushed for the team to go and subsequently, we broke the national junior record there. He knew that there were more participants of quality and similar standards that would give us enough competition to achieve a good timing. And it paid off.

This then brings me to my next point, belief. For a coach to patiently try over and over again over 4 years for a team to succeed, Mr Loh must surely have had belief in us to achieve the potential he saw. This belief culminated itself when in 2008, SAA introduced a co-op sharing scheme that had athletes paying a percentage of the cost for overseas trips if we did not meet a stipulated timing. During the 2008 Taiwan Meet, Mr Loh wrote a cheque of about $1000 to pay for the whole team should we fail to meet the timing set for us. He had the immense belief that we would achieve the target set and was willing to sacrifice his own money just to encourage us and use it as an outward show of trust.

With all he had done and all that people have questioned, SAA had to provide an answer they deemed satisfactory enough for this change – the need for new blood and proper qualifications. Reasons I can easily contest given the many ambiguous points I can bring up having been in the sport for more than a decade now.

Firstly, why the need for new blood when the president has been at the helm for over twenty years? To sack someone who has brought progression but not someone who has had some sort of regression, it only makes me wonder, is regression the new progression? Afterall, the four professional athletes who paved the progression for SAA to move from amateur to a full association have either, disappeared, left, were being sued or are suing. For an association that sued its own athlete more than a decade ago to one that is still suing its athletes, where is the progression in better athlete and association communication, welfare and relationship?

Secondly, the coaches taking over the women’s relay team are not new. They have been in the coaching panel as long as my coach has been coaching the women’s team and they are still coaching the Men’s relay team. If new blood is the way to go, then why not apply the same reasoning to the Men’s team when the women’s team has at least been on par with the men’s team in terms of achievements?

Lastly, as I have mentioned earlier, if regression is the new progression, then that would be the only reason I can fathom why they would replace my coach and seek new blood from coaches who have faced disciplinary problems in terms of fighting incidents, smoking and drinking incidents and secret excursions during overseas competitions.

With regards to proper qualifications, in a practical field such as sports, one can see that paper qualifications do not necessarily equate to results. A perfect example would be why a technical director with the highest qualifications may not produce a better athlete than the coach. One may be able to provide the best answers, but in the world of sports, if you cannot produce an athlete, your answers would simply remain as words and figures no matter how high you pride yourself.

At the end of the day, action speaks louder than words, and as cliché as that may sound, this incident is a perfect example. All that SAA has to back up its arguments are words and figures, but for Mr Loh, it is his efforts and results that hold testament to all that the girls have achieved. And it is these actions that have led so many to question SAA who would as expected provide only answers no one who aims for progression would apply.

As an athlete who truly wants progression, it would only make sense for me then to follow my coach and train under him. For even without the athletics paper qualifications, I am pretty sure regression does not lead to progression, it simply prevents succession; an aim that perhaps some obviously may want."

Thank God!

yes really... THANK GOD. had my first race since December and havent been training as well as i should be so i was actually preparing myself to accept defeat today. its always hard to swallow your pride especially when you are at the top and i did lose some sleep over it :) oh come on, we all have fears of failure and loss of reputation. but anyway, went to my uncle's niche and saw the phrase "i have fought a good fight, i have finished the course, i have kept the faith." reminded me of the need to just trust in the Lord and let Him lead according to His will. and seriously, i was so calm at the start line it was really a first. i have a good game temperement but i have really, seriously (haha babes, Gordon Ramsay!!! :D) ok private joke with my dearest... :) never been THAT calm. so Thank God! :) speaking of which, Thank God that BOTH of us did well eh? im so proud of you!!! :) +hugs!+

your presence.

God has his ways of answering your prayers at the most unexpected times while making you wait, sort out your thoughts and learn to be patient... which i totally did not have. haha so anyway im glad things have turned out the way they have. im glad for everything slow and steady, for the privacy and for the little world of our own we have created. more importantly im glad to have you in my life now, because really, just the thought of you brightens up my day. gone are the days of dates on streets and in cinemas, things that are on a shallow level. instead ours is one that has endless conversations, laughter, hard training and just each other's presence. this is really happiness and peace on a whole new level, something that i know is a blessing i am truly thankful for. :)

how?

how can you preempt something for a day and still get bothered by it? how do you try and block something for so long and still feel affected? how can you be in something for so long and still not acknowledge it. how?

VOTE NOW!!!!

EVERYONE!!! please vote for mr loh at the following website to be the top coach! its abit of a hassle BUT!

you will be helping us prove a point to the suckers who refuse to give him the recognition he so rightly deserves.

you will be standing up to an association that needs a complete overhaul.

you will be giving a slap in the face to one of the biggest tyrants (and add aashole to that...) that i know.

you will be helping us prove a point that at the end of the day, true character and passion matters more than tyranny and dictatorship.

at the end of the day, we will prove you cant buy respect, you earn it.

let's salute mr loh! THANK YOU!!!!! :)

website: http://www.singaporesports.sg/posbchampions/home.aspx

Coach: B01 LOH CHAN PEW

PASS IT AROUND!!!! :)

loves of the day!

had lunch with claire and cayla yesterday and cayla was absolutely hilarious in her many attempts to remember her ABCs and days.

me: cayla, can you say the alphabets?

cayla:ok! a,b,c,d,e,f,g,j,k,m...

me: CAYLA???!!!!!

cayla: i cant remember already...

me: hahahaha

-------------

me: ok say your days.

cayla: saturday, sunday, monday, tuesday (im getting very impressed here... ;D) , wednesday, friday...

me: CAYLA???!!!

hahaha yes the lil one simply cannot remember her sequences... but can speak in a wonderful british accent, pick up various slangs of languages, strikeup any pose consecutively, do gym routines just like that and be stretched till even i wince in pain looking at her. :)

oh how she's grown up... fighting with me for every slice of abalone, standing in front of the mirror and saying "i'm beautiful!", rolls her eyes when you say something stupid... haha

and then there's claire! her birthday party's today!!! we're throwing a bash for her with an art course conducted by my sis for all her friends! that little miss is turning 10 already! how time flies! look out for party pics soon!!! :)

this is the claire that every morning when i fetch her to school will jump up the minute i wake her even if i try to do it as gently as possible.

me: claire... (softly with a small pat on the leg)

claire: *JUMPS!* *seatbelt flies across, chair hurriedly jerks up!*

me: calm down! (in shock)

claire: *stones and waits till i drop her right at the front steps.*

hahaha every morning it tickles me to see her reaction. :)

and then there's you. come back quick! :) tomorrow seems years away!!! you whose words brighten up my day, touched me deeply, makes me feel so happy. you whom without your presence makes the days pass slowly. you, whom i miss dearly.

setting the record straight.

*before i begin, my coach is MR Loh Chan Pew. some have asked if i changed coach because they have misread the article. again i state. I will never go under someone else in Singapore because there just isnt anyone better.*

going to set some things straight because i realised nothing has been said about mr loh's real achievements and dedication to the team. was thinking the other day and some facts that the straits times didnt bring up included the all important point that the revival of the national women's relay squad is solely because of mr loh. if he didnt have the foresight to start a team back in 2003 and patiently and painstakingly build it up for 4 freaking years, Singapore wouldnt even have a national women's relay team.

we wouldnt have broken such a longstanding record and we wouldnt have a squad that can attribute the win to such a tight chemistry between the members. we wouldnt have athletes to show for who have persevered on despite being in mainstream schools. athletes who were not in sports school, had minimal support in terms of sports science and had to balance O'levels and A'levels while fighting an adminstration that was supposed to be our only ally in a society that views academics as above all. we wouldnt have created history and be the first team in 14 years to represent singapore at the sea games. we wouldnt have been the only singapore team to run below 47secs electronic AND handtimed ever in the HISTORY of singapore.

SO! dont tell me we need new blood because for as long as i can recall, the president of SAA has been at the helm of it even before i was born. and gosh! its still as screwed up as before!! its still suing its own athletes from Haron Mundir to Er Xiao xu and Luan Wei. it still takes FOREVER to give us our grants and it even got better! it didnt apply for any grants this year! hmm im actually beginning to think that in the eyes of them, regression is the new progression. wow... so profound that it probably needs a few rounds of drinks to fully grasp the meaning of this. which is probably why only they can understand. (read between the lines... )

and as for the coach that took over us. he has been at the helm of the men's team as far back as 2003! so the men's team, which has faced disciplinary action, fighting incidents and secret excursions (read dead sea) does not require any change while the women's squad that has broken 2 national junior records and 2 national records need a change of blood? so the coach that has brought athletes to smoke and coaches who chain smoke in their rooms need not be replaced while the one that has been achieving but is to be changed for the LAMEST reason of new blood should be replaced? wow! a-m-a-z-i-n-g. NOT :)

i think its just pure jealousy that SAA replaced mr loh because he built the entire team up by himself. he has shown the adminstration that they are REALLY useless and redundant when it comes to the very fundamentals of their job. to bring up athletics in singapore. the very first time the national junior record was set, it was done at taiwan open which mr loh fought for us to go because he felt that it had a good and similar standard to push us. SAA was reluctant and so only the women's team was sent. and guess what?! for the next few taiwan opens since that year, more athletes have been wanting to go taiwan. and the very first time we made it to SEA Games, we fought the battle OURSELVES. by going to the higher ups, and bypassing the most inefficient and useless adminstration i have ever met. can i add discouraging too because one of the office staff has ever commented to us that we won't make it. yes you didnt do a thing for us and you're never getting any credit for the records. dont say you rewarded us with monetary rewards. for all i've sucked up and put up with, i seriously think i deserve it considering our attire is for every 2 years and our competitions are co shared by us. not forgetting the blood boiling moments that may result in high blood pressure.

so yes now you understand why i cannot simply back down and be part of an administration that has done NOTHING when all i have achieved so far is because of my coach. perhaps the only thing i can credit SAA for is the fact that they have pushed us this far by being the most intolerable, redundant, and pathetic leaders. thank you.

you dont buy loyalty. when you do, all you get are lackeys and all that makes you is an AAS. :)

a lil bit of aggression :)

bloody shagged from the netball icg!!!! we managed to get into the final rounds which is good considering our netball skills are quite rusty... haha and gosh my aggression really showed today when i argued with the umpire that i wasnt offside when i actually was! and guess what?! i convinced him cos i looked damn sure. :) laugh at me all you want cos anyway i got the ball and we got the goal!!! hahaha thank God i wasnt wearing the class tee that had me as ' Little Miss Bossy" :D so true eh... anyway thats the end of icg for year 3... gosh it dawned on me that we are going into our final year of icg and then we're out of the sch!!!! freaking fast!!! time flies man! so thanks to all who came down to help out with the logistics and playing and umpiring. we are true multi taskers!!! :)

teardrops.

can i cry now? its really heartbreaking and i wish for it all to be over. i cant train under someone i do not respect, do not trust, do not think has the capabilities or is even an ounce better than my coach. i cant. i really really cant. dont give me this bullshit talk that its new blood, that some AASholes think he is better so we should go along. never trusted their judgment never will trust their judgment. who would have thought that if i were to leave, it would be because i was caught in a crossfire. but all along i've told myself, if i ever had to change coach and be forced to train another coach in singapore i'd rather leave, id rather stop. simply because there just isnt anyone better. im standing by my coach not just because im being stubborn or blinded by loyalty. its about not succumbing to societal pressures to do what you must to survive. sorry but i do not subscribe to a dog eat dog world. i will not. simply because as it is, ive already taken the path of non conformity to go after my passion in a world that believes money comes first. i will not back down to survive, simply because i got into this because of my own passion. and no way am i going to let your filthy hands turn this passion into something that is done purely out of survival, greed and the need for glory. im fine being a sprinter thank you very much. i do not run for meets, i run for my own personal goals. and you are never getting any recognition for it SAA.

boiling point

ok i do not know how to describe my current state of mind. put it this way. if i vent my anger in the usual manner with blasting music and high speeds and it doesnt go away, then i must be really mad and irritated and upset and lost. simply, i am caught between short term and long term consequences. between emotions and rationalism. between holding fort and all out war.
it sucks being the middle person handling both sides. caught on the thin line of loyalty while in actual fact im only trying to ensure that we do not fall into their traps, we do not lose our footing, we maintain our conduct and we stay as a team. some just dont understand how stuck i feel because its not as simple as doing the right thing, maintaining order. im dealing with human emotions here, human minds. sucks to be me i can tell you. but whatever it is, mr loh's my coach and always will be. and with emotions in play, i can safely say, at the end, my concern for him will always guide my actions first. heart over mind they say. for me, at the end, when i retire, i'd rather look back and know i did my coach proud, i gave back what he has done for me. this rather than feeling the regret and pain knowing that i have let down the one person that truly cared how i fared in my running career. hmm has it ever occured to anyone why no one ever thanked the association? haha need i say more?

new blood? im sure you all have plenty since you are all such bloodsuckers.

its my turn to speak. ha! :)

past post: just got official info about the change of coach for the women's relay team. because i am really angry and bloody frustrated with everything and everybody and the email had to come like now when im already so pissed at irritating people and person who like to screw up the usual way, i am going to say it as it is, as how i completely feel towards the idiots who made such a decision. go to hell you bloody f***ing morons. i swear i despise you to the very core of your being and resent you for whatever little worth you have on this earth. seriously, you give me a coach that has the qualifications and achievements to prove his superiority, i will accept it. but when you give me one who 1. struts on the track as if he owns it 2. shouts 'f***' at athletes and anyone alike on the track 3. hasnt got a thing to prove better than my coach. well you know what? damn you, your people, your association. never had my respect, and never will. and mind you im not talking about the coach who has been appointed. im talking about that fellow sitting prettily at champions lane in his office. maybe you should take your paper qualifications and stuff it up your head. filling up that empty space up there with abit of academia might just trigger something which is better than nothing. maybe then you can give me some logical explanation for your idioticness. but oh wait its prolly cos you are just well. an idiot. :D

the fight doesnt end here by the way. not going to take this lying down, never will. not when it involves my team and my coach. im going to say it here. we fought our own fight to get to sea games, we broke that record, we set history, we made us where we us today. it had absolutely nothing to do with you and the bloody asses sitting with you. all you did. was be an obstacle.

they say never incur the wrath of a woman? im telling you this. never incur the wrath of a woman sprinter. its the perfect equation of pure aggression.

this issue does not end here. not if i can help it. not until ive had my say. ")

I told you i'll have my say... ") hope it was a pleasant wait and an even more pleasant surprise. BASTARDS :)

new year firsts

okay im back! but not with pics cos havent had time to edit with picasa... and you know what i'll say about picasa so yah... :) the new year was great fun! although i was sick... which is a good thing cos that kinda stopped me from junking :D God's own way of ensuring discipline... sweet. haha anyway. this new year has had many firsts! for one i havent gambled at all. i havent played mahjong. i went to visit my nanny for the first time in two years. i met new cousins that had existed for the past 22 years but never knew. and mind you they are 2nd cousins so still quite close. i had company for the first time during Chinese New Year dinner. :D ok enough said. haha pics coming up soon! so yes but what touched me most was the visit to my nanny's place. more about that in the next post!

its been a while but its still going to be a while. and yet during this while, alot would have occured if it was another.

a moment

no matter how much one achieves or has, somehow in this world, the majority judges by what is on the exterior, what is visible. you try to push it away, these feelings of inadequacies because you know its based on pure pride. but yet you have your moments, your moments of inadequacies because at the very end, no matter how much you try to protect yourself, no matter how hard you convince yourself, you know that everyone looks at external first, compares external first before anything else. and then of course you ask yourself, who wouldn't prefer something tangible, rather than the intangible.

philosophy and me :)

thank you... :)

had the most special and memorable breakfast ever today! cant say much but i really appreciated and loved it very very much. it was sweet and special, meant alot, a great way to start my day! thank YOU :) lots of love! " )

simply amazing. loves! :)